My brain

 It's when the silence hits

When the stillness in my body weighs me down

Disallowing me to move or even breathe

It's when I stop even for a moment to catch a breath

Or to think 

There is no rhyme or reason

Where does that expression come from? 

What is the rhyme? 

Whatever it is there's none of it 

When it hits, it hits hard

And I have to shake myself awake

Or alive 

I don't need to know the reason why

I just want it

Gone 

So I busy my hands

I turn on music or television

I cannot stand my own mind

I am mad that the biology of my brain does not work the way it should

I could be doing so many other things 

Be productive

Be a useful and efficient member of society

Yet here I am 

Taking every ounce of my energy to finish the laundry

The floors are covered in dog fur 

The vacuum stares at me 

The bathroom mirrors are dirty 

I know I can clean it in minutes

These pants have been drying on the stationary bike for a week

I should get on this bike

It's so beautifully sunny I bet it would be a good time to walk the dog

the dog snores loudly next to me 

He needs a bath

I need a bath

My tea is getting cold

I have so many books I want to read

I wonder who wins this season of Ru Paul.

I tried to put stuff away in storage but I've misplaced the keys

I made a simple phone call and had to leave a voicemail

The laundry needs switching