The Land of the Free But Not for People Like Me.

I have found it difficult to write about this topic because I too, read the articles about how the attacks against innocent Asians around the world are "not racially motivated" or that they were "one-off incidents." so maybe I shouldn't worry right? The Atlanta spa shooting was a one-off, Michelle Go being pushed into the train was not racially charged, Christina Yuna Le's brutal murder was also not racially motivated. They just all happened to be Asian and women, right?There can't be any reason for me to fear, so the news won't talk about it anymore because these women who had dreams, lives, families, and rich futures ahead of them just so happened to be Asian and  the people who murdered them all had mental health issues and so we shouldn't blame them too much. Their murders shouldn't scare you just because you're also a young, asian woman who has dreams, a life, a family, and a rich future ahead of you and also your family who are all also Asian shouldn't worry about it too much. 

I am happy that nobody I know personally has been attacked and hurt but man I really don't want to have to have that happen at all ever. I think it's dumb that murals like this one have to be made or that we need to be reminded that Black Lives Matter because it should just be a thing, right? It should just be truth that we all know and live by. My whole life I've tried to assimilate and become as non-asian as possible so that I can fit in here and in the last couple of years I've started to really learn to love how very asian I am and I know so many people love it about me. They love lumpia, they love the music, the culture but there's also the very dark and real side to being different that nobody really likes to talk about. We're scared, we're exhausted of being scared, we also would like to celebrate being ourselves without fear of being ostracized or worse, hurt. 

This land is not really the land of the free if your skin or your eyes or hair are different than the forefathers and in these last couple of years as the darkness has been exposed to the light more, I'd like to say I'm becoming hopeful as conversations change. But I hope that leads to policies and systems to change as well.