Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Our Story?

For as long as I can remember I have always felt like I was supposed to be part of something bigger, and become someone bigger. When I was younger that always felt like fame, to perform in front of crowds who would shout my name in adoration and fanaticism. Over the years my circle of influence has definitely grown but I'm not by any means an "influencer." I am not very ambitious when it comes to my job but I do have very big dreams of changing the world through relationships and not so much platforms. 

Now that I've become a citizen, an achievement unlocked in my storyline, I don't quite know what's next. I have a dream of going to the nations and building prayer rooms, teaching people how to pray and to seek the Lord and worship Him because I believe He is worthy. It's a great dream and I'm getting to do it now in America, yet there is a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach saying that this is not all of it.

I am not ambitious, I am fine living a quiet life but I can't deny I feel the desire to become a part of something bigger and to become someone bigger. Whatever that means. As I move forward with my life I find myself asking

"Where does my little story fit in with the bigger story of the world?"

I have a desire to express myself but how is that a valuable contribution to the world? I refuse to believe that we are on this world only to satisfy our desires but to be connected to a bigger and more important story. Am I significant?  I know I'm only just beginning, I'm only 28 and a world of opportunities just opened up for me even though I can't see it right now. With a pandemic and high political tensions the future seems so blurry and I feel like a racehorse at a starting gate but I can't do anything until they open things up. I have so many things I feel like I am called to do but I have no idea what they are and how to get started. This season feels like a waiting season but I know it's more of a slow down season. I am so grateful for my story, the part that's already been written the parts are still to be written. 

"There's a million things I haven't done. Just you wait." - Hamilton