"So I Guess This Means We'll Always Be Together."

I've had some really big things happen in the last few weeks but I think today's big thing has surpassed all the other big things. After years of dreaming, saving, waiting, months of researching, weeks of applying for dogs, and many many many heartbroken disappointments as each dog photo I fall in love with gets adopted - I finally took my dream dog home today. I applied to probably about 10 rescues and shelters, and have looked at hundreds of dog photos. With the pandemic, adopting has become 90% online, and 100% competitive. Almost like the housing market. 

This is Appa, my 3 yo St. Bernard + Border Collie Rescue Dog from New Mexico. The chillest dog to ever dog, my brave companion.

All day yesterday and all day today I was anxious. I am still anxious as I have to leave him for a couple of hours tomorrow because I couldn't find anyone to cover my shift at the coffee shop. I really wanted to bring him but I'll wait until I get my ESA papers. I have gone to the pet store three times in the last two days, wandering the aisles aimlessly trying to make the best decisions for a pet I had never met and only saw one photo of. I assumed a lot. I bought toys and treats only to find out he does not like either, I was really hoping that would help my chances but truthfully, once he walked out and I pet him and he nuzzled his face onto my thigh I knew that I did not need treats for this loving guy to like me. 

Heads turned as I walked across the parking lot with him and ran around with him. Some people met dogs they reserved online, only to be disappointed that the dog was too anxious or too energetic, but not Appa. I still didn't know much about him except for the online posting saying he was 3 and a Border Collie Bernard mix from New Mexico. He was fresh off the truck and was still damp from his bath which he enjoyed. Nonetheless, after 30 or so minutes I was the first person to decide I wanted to adopt him. I was not going to let him go. Although I was first to pay and get his papers, we were one of the last ones to leave the parking lot as Appa was simply not ready to get in my Jeep. 

I had bought a 2nd hand Large Dog Crate from Facebook Marketplace. The treats and toys I got him got licked once or twice and then disregarded. So I waited, maybe about 30 - 35 minutes. I sat in the car by the crate, the front seat, driver seat. Anything. He planted himself down onto the ground and refused to get in. Finally I decided to dismantle the crate and carry him into the middle row, he was not ecstatic but still he finally got in and laid down. It would be another hour before we got home and I needed to make a stop at the pet store for dog food and maybe some wet treats. I did not want to risk the trouble of getting him back in the car again so I left him for just a second while I grabbed the food. He whined some while I tried to drive home as quickly yet as cautiously as possible. Then we got to my apartment and I put his new collar and leash on to walk him around. 

He still hadn't gone potty, and I really needed to go potty. I took him around the parking lot and some grassy areas that led to my apartment building but he still did not potty so I decided to bring him upstairs so I could, so that I could bring him back down for a walk. It was foolish and selfish of me because he immediately peed on the side of my bed - which, conveniently still had the plastic covering because I don't have a bed frame and my mom said it would be better that way. At this point I was glad that at least one of the things I bought from the pet store came in handy - the Urine Destroyer Spray. Appa seemed to know it was a bad thing what he had done because he immediately cowered and would not come back. 

He was also reluctant about the 4 flights of stairs that lead to my apartment, and was reluctant to walk into my apartment the first time. I think he was an outside dog before we met and by observing his responses, he seems to react to loud noises and "NO!" which means he could have only ever gotten negative reinforcement. I watched a video last night saying that I shouldn't let the dog nap during the first day because that will cause them to stay awake all night, and I should do so and so and not do so and so. Appa has had to craziest day of his life probably. He was in a truck with other dogs for hours. He met a strange lady. And now he's in a new house. He's the chillest dog I've ever encountered and I am quite shocked that he is mine. He's so brave and is doing so well. 

I feel the new mom anxiety. I feel like everyone knows I'm new at this and that I don't really know what I'm doing. I doesn't walk great in a leash yet. And I feel like I'm breaking all the rules the lady on Youtube laid out for me. But I did get him in his crate where he is now resting and sleeping - hopefully through the night without accidents. I have been dreaming of this moment my whole life, the Beethoven movies were my favorite. I never thought it could actually happen. I want to give this boy the best life I can. I love him so much already and I'm terrified of ever hurting him. I wish he could talk and just tell me what he needed. My life is never going to be the same. 

"Choose carefully. A flying bison (St. Bernard Collie) is a companion for life." 

"I guess this means we'll always be together." - Aang, Avatar: The Last Airbender